You know you’re in the Keys when.....
• The only shoes you own are different varieties of flip
• You have driven at least one Keys Cruiser.
• You’re constantly passed by vehicles with out of state
• There are only 3 levels of sobriety: sober (morning),
stoned (afternoon) and smashed (anytime).
• You’ve gone through crib-death (an all-nighter at the
Caribbean Club), and though you swear you won’t again, it
just keeps happening.
• Your land is worth more than your house.
• Someone asks, “Where is Iz-luh-more-a-day?”
• You only put on sun block when you are on a boat because
otherwise you are always in the shade.
• Every bartender knows you and what you drink.
• You know everyone everywhere you go and you’ve known
them for 3 generations.
• You and your grocery store cashier are on a first name
• You party with your car salesman, doctor and housekeeper
at the same place.
• In order for it to be bad weather, it’s got to be a category
3 or higher.
• In some way or another your income depends on tourism.
•You can get anywhere by boat but you have to drive an hour to get to a mall.